Summer Blues

I am always excited for summer and my long earned break from school, but there is always one thing that I dread during summer.

Being stuck at home with my sister for weeks on end.

She is a stereotypical millennial: too stubborn for their own good, lazy, inconsiderate for anyone else, defies all and any authority. Oh, and she thinks everyone else is wrong. She is constantly mean to every single person in our family, yet is an angel around all of her friends. Her “sweet” act around others means that anyone I introduce to her and she spends more than 5 minutes around ends up becoming her friend as well as mine, which means I can no longer talk to those friends about how miserable she makes me. I only have one friend left that I could even mention “Oh, my sister is driving me crazy again” to.

Nobody knows how she verbally and mentally abuses every member in our family. If a fight starts, we have to support each other as she goes from attacking one of us to the next until all of us are pissed at her. If we could afford to, we would put her in an apartment with her best friend, but we can’t, so we all end up suffering in silence. There is nobody we feel that we can tell.

She is so nit picky that even just going to buy a pair of sneakers takes weeks, because none of them are the perfect pair. She hates how she looks, but does no sort of physical activity. DIYs are pretty much doomed because we spend the money on all the supplies, and it never comes out right. We have told her that maybe if she changed her pessimistic attitude, maybe her life wouldn’t be so miserable. She says she isn’t a pessimist, that she is a “realist” and that she would rather accept that things aren’t likely to go well and be “pleasantly surprised” if they go any better than expected. That is pessimism!

I on the other hand, I am a dreamer. I always try to be the optimist, if only to keep myself and my parents hopeful. I would rather something not meet my hopes for it by a little bit, and look at all the good things in life than to always look at the worst that could happen.

Seeing as how I am always looking for the best, it makes sense that I love to read fairy-tales. I have read four fairy-tales retold and a book that went with the live action Beauty and the Beast so far this summer and have four more retold fairy-tales lined up and ready to read. To some it might seem like I am trying to escape reality through these books, which I partially am, but I also love how these stories have been retold. They feature strong female characters that do not accept the situation they have been put in and instead try to change their fate (a common theme in the retold fairy-tales due to them being by the same author thus far). They inspire a sense of hope in me, a little bit of that hope that I am trying to keep in my heart to help me get through dealing with my sister.

I try to spread hope, to make those around me happy (which is also part of the reason I started this blog, to create hope for those dealing with mental illness), while my sister seems to take everything that brings the rest of this family joy and ruin it. For two people who were raised by the exact same parents, I cannot even fathom how we ended up so differently.

And in conclusion, I ask you this:

Is it better to believe in hopes and dreams and that wishes may come true? Or is it better to be “real”, even if it means hurting those around you, possibly in ways that can never be forgiven?

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