Finally adding another character to Kenna and Dillon’s little world. Let’s see who we meet today.
Today’s Prompt: “How have you not killed him yet?” “He pays me not to. Weekly.”
“How have you not killed him yet?,” Evelyn laughs. We are sitting in the park, catching up. I was just telling her about some of the adventures Dillon and I went on while she was traveling with her family.
“He pays me not to. Weekly,” I tease. She stops laughing.
“What? Where can I sign up?,” all traces of joking are gone. Her ice blue eyes widen, her golden brown hair getting blown in her face as the wind blows.
“Eve, I’m just kidding. Besides, I wouldn’t allow that even if he wanted to. I can’t be bought and Dillon is so much more than just a friend to me.” I recline onto the grass and stare up at the sky. There is not a cloud in sight. I feel like I’ve known Dillon forever. I know more about him than myself sometimes. I would recognize his dark brown hair and storm grey eyes anywhere. When I am with him, I feel safe, even in this chaotic world.
“Earth to Kenna.” And like that I am brought back to right now. Sitting in the park with Eve. “You were in your own world again, weren’t you?,” she stares, “Do you think that you and Dillon might be more than friends someday?” I sit up and bring my knees close to my body.
“I don’t think so Eve. I think that would make everything between us weird and I don’t want to lose his friendship. I mean, we’ve been friends for almost three years. We tell each other everything. Well, almost everything. We respect each others boundaries, but understand that sometimes boundaries have to be crossed, like when I was super depressed last school year.” I straighten out my legs and lean back, supporting myself with my arms. “He knew that even though I told him to leave me alone, that was the last thing he should do. I love him, but not romantically. More like our souls are perfect matches, but our hearts belong to other people. We might not have found who our hearts belong to yet, but we are still young. We have time,” I tell her.
Dillon. Before I realize it, my thoughts are back on Dillon and all the things that we have done together. I can’t help but smile. Evelyn notices, but keeps it to herself this time. I can envision a future where Dillon is still my best friend, but not one where we are in love. I have felt this way practically since we met. I know I should ask Dillon about it, but what if his thoughts and feelings differ from mine? What would we do then? I push those thoughts from my mind for now. I should be present while spending time with Eve.
Why did Eve have to ask if I think about if me and Dillon could be more than just me and Dillon? We spend a lot of time together, but that doesn’t mean we would make a good couple. And if I ask him about it, will everything between us be awkward? I am suddenly very aware of what I am wearing and how I look. Before I know it, I am arguing with my reflection as if I were arguing with my brother. “Why am I doing this? Dillon is my best friend. He doesn’t care if my hair is just plain old brown instead of golden like Evelyn’s or so dark that it is almost black like his. He doesn’t care if I wear graphic tees and leggings when we hang out. Or… or.” I stare at my reflection for a moment, tears are pooling in my eyes. Why does he even like me?
“Why does who even like you?” The sound comes from behind me, and I see Dillon walk towards me in the mirror. Did I say that out loud? I quickly dry my eyes and turn toward Dillon. “Kenna, what’s going on here?” There is concern in his voice and I can see it in his eyes too. I take a step toward him and he immediately pulls me into a hug. We just stand there for a while, until I pull away.
“Nothing,” I hesitate, “Well, nothing important really. I’m just driving myself crazy like I do every now and then. Worrying about something that important, but no matter what happens it probably won’t change my life drastically. Or at least I hope it wouldn’t.” I turn back to the mirror. I feel small, weak, and insecure. He steps closer and hugs me from behind.
He whispers into my ear, “You still didn’t answer the ‘who’ part of the question?”. He rests his chin on my shoulder. I make my eyes meet his in the mirror.
“You.” I can’t look at his face any longer, I stare at the border of the mirror instead, and when I speak my voice is quiet, “How much of that did you hear anyways?”.
“Just something about graphic tees. Wait, why I you wondering why I like you? You are my best friend, Kenna, a major part of my life, someone I love. You make my life whole.”
“That’s it. That’s what all of this started with,” I hear the sadness in my voice despite my best efforts to hide it. I turn back toward Dillon and his arms fall to his side as I continue, my words coming faster now, “I was afraid that you love me, but not in the same way I love you. And if Evelyn hadn’t asked me if I thought we, you and me, could be more than friends, then I wouldn’t have been worrying about it all day and you wouldn’t have known that I am worried that if you wanted us to be in a relationship that made us more than friends, that I would have to say no, and possibly ruin the friendship and… and I don’t want to lose you Dillon.” I move to sit on the edge of my bed and busy myself fiddling with the edge of my comforter. Dillon sits down, leaving several inches of space between us. Great, he is keeping his distance now, Way to go Kenna.
“Kenna,” he hesitates, “You could have asked me how I felt. I would have told you that I love you. I love you as a friend. I love you in my life. I love hanging out with you because around you I feel like I can be myself. I love you, but not the way you were expecting.” He laughs, and I instinctively turn to look at him. He’s smiling when he continues, “I love you with all my heart, but I don’t want to turn this into a relationship either. I am happy to just be in your life and share lots of amazing memories with you. And I hope that we both find love one day, and who knows maybe you will get married or have kids one day, or maybe I’ll get married and have kids, or maybe both of us will get married, but not to each other, or neither of us will get married, but I always felt that no matter what happens to us we would be experiencing these things as best friends. You know, the kind of best friends that are practically family. That is all I ever wanted in my relationship with you. Pure friendship.” He lays down and I do to. Everything is quiet for a moment. “Kenna, so many of my friends see how close we are, and they wish they had a relationship like ours. We have one of the purest, most natural relationships I have ever seen, and I don’t want to lose you either.” I release my breath. I hadn’t even realized that I had been holding it.
“How do you always do that?,” I say a smile spreading across my face as I turn to look at Dillon.
His eyes meet mine when he asks, “Do what?”.
“That’s because I know you Kenna. And remember, it wasn’t always like that. The first time I tried to help, I nearly killed you with baked goods. And that is how we learned you were allergic to chestnuts.”
“That was bad, but you apologized like 500 times, so I kinda had to forgive you.”
I laugh and before I know it, all the worries I had are gone. Dillon is my best friend, and I should have been honest with him from the beginning. It would have saved me a lot of anxiety and stress. As long as I have Dillon in my life, I know that everything will be okay.