Perception

So you know how everyone perceives things differently?

Something that drives me crazy is when people only focus on what they feel are flaws.

I know this girl who is beautiful. She is just over 5′ 6″, 145 lbs, and wears a size 4. Yet all she ever does is complain about her body. She has curves, but isn’t super curvy. She has a little bit of tummy chub, but who doesn’t? She always complains she has no clothes that fit her right, but when we go shopping she is so super critical that she either buys nothing or gets something and has a high chance of returning it later. She looks good in almost anything, and I tell her this, but she only sees the flaws. She complains that she is getting fat, but thankfully she doesn’t skip meals. She also doesn’t get as much exercise as she used to, but that just means she is a little less toned. She doesn’t want to workout alone, but she doesn’t take into consideration that I like to workout differently than she does. She did three years of dance in high school, which included cardio, squats, crunches, and so many other exercises.

I am just under 5′ 7″, weighed 203 at my highest, and wear a 14 or 16. My belly isn’t flat, it has chub. I have curves, more curves than her, but am still not super curvy. To find clothes that fit me, I have to either resort to plus sizes to find clothes that are cute, but actually flatter my body. It is hard for me to find clothes that look good because anything that has a tight waistband or is too tight over my stomach makes me look pregnant. I have full thighs and a belly. Though I get a little down when I see cute things that don’t fit, I take it as a sign that I am not meant to get it. Finding things that fit and flatter my body is hard, but I have tiny victories when shopping at stores. I have a good amount of clothes that I feel amazing in and some that are just comfy. I have exercise induced asthma, so working out is hard for me. I like to take long walks when the weather is nice and I am working on making better food choices now that my appetite has decreased after getting off my antidepressants. This method works for me and I have lost 10 lbs in a few months by just being mindful of what I eat, with no change in my exercise habits.I have been self conscious about my weight in the past. A relative called me fat when I was only 8. When I started antidepressants, I lost a little weight at first, but I gained almost 90 lbs in 9 years.  I now know that most of this weight gain was caused by my constantly being hungry on the antidepressants, and hope that I can continue to lose a little more weight naturally. My goal is 180-185 lbs, and then to slowly get into a routine that could help me tone up a little bit.

I am pretty happy with my body now and most of the time I feel content. I just with other people could see themselves the way I see them. You have a tummy, so what? Practically everybody does. No thigh gap, no problem! Curvy, not curvy, doesn’t matter. Either learn to love your body or learn what healthy changes you can make to get closer to your goal. I know it isn’t always that straight forward, but it is a good place to start.

 

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