The Significance of Stars

I realize that I have never explained how I chose my blog name, nor the significance it holds for me.

My blog name is Star Crossed Daydreamer.

I will be honest, I did not know what star crossed meant when I chose it as a name for my blog. For me, the combination of these words brought a sense of something stronger than me. Upon finding out what star crossed means, I am a little disheartened that it means “thwarted by bad luck”, but I guess that works for my blog too. It seems that just like everyone else, I am followed by both good and bad luck. Overall, I seem not to believe so much in luck as looking at the best in things and trying to make the most of what comes my way, no matter how hard that may be.

I had chosen star crossed, because I am obsessed with stars. I have loved the stars since I was very little, and remember staring up at them whenever we were coming home from my grandmother’s house an hour away. These drives allowed me to see the stars much better than I could at home, even though the cities we drove through were very similar to the one we lived in. Everything seemed to be lit up, and that wasn’t conducive to stargazing. When I could see the stars, I would wish on them like many others kids and though these wishes probably didn’t come true, I still love the mystery that the stars hold. Now that I am older, I find looking at the stars to be very peaceful. My family moved last year, and our new house is in a city that promotes low light pollution, so the seem brighter and more mysterious than ever before. I admit, that though I am grown, I still wish on stars every night, either the stars outside or the stars of the star projector I bought last year. I like to believe that wishes on stars can come true and it gives me a sense of hope that there is good in this chaotic world.

I also chose daydreamer, because that is a large part of what I am. I daydream because my mind naturally wanders when I get bored. I think of the future both near and far, wondering what is going to happen in my life between then and now. I know that the future is full of uncertainty, but I am looking forward to whatever it brings. I take my life one step at a time and right now my main focus is graduating from college, but I can daydream in the meantime.

 

My Misson

My primary mission for this blog is to help break the stigma surrounding mental illnesses. So many people have been diagnosed with mental illness in the past few decades, but there had been little to no change in how people view mental illness and many people still refuse to talk about it, either their personal struggles or talking with someone who has mental illness.

I have been very open with my mental illnesses toward those who I feel I can trust, but it was not always easy for me to talk about. I feel that this feeling of uneasiness was because of several factors, but the biggest one was that I didn’t want anybody to know that I was “crazy”. That was how I felt when not long after my diagnoses and starting on medication. I vividly remember being at an appointment with my child psychiatrist and my mom. He was going over what I had talked about during the session with my mom and when he said that he wanted to start me on another medication, I broke down crying. I remember thinking to myself that they kept adding new medications to the mix because I was crazy, but I didn’t want to be crazy. I did not know what all the medications did when I was that young, I just knew that crazy people had to take lots of medications.

It has been a long journey to where I am today and it definitely had its ups and downs. That is why I have decided to share my story, at least parts of it, with others. The story here is my own and I do not expect anyone who reads this to resonate with every single thing I say. As most people who have been diagnosed with mental illness know, everyone has different experiences. Not everyone will understand exactly, but being able to share your story with someone who cares and understands, even just a little bit, can make a big difference, especially when you are going through a rough patch.

Feel free to listen to my story.

Feel free to share it with others.

And most importantly, please help to break the stigma.